We all know what would happen

Setting: a dark room with less light. Bella is sitting in a cage and sobs. Angelus is sitting in a chair and smiles. The door crashes and Edward appears.

E: Bella! Where are you my precious Love!
B: OMG!!! EDWARD!!! RESCUE ME!
A: Ah the sissy appeared!
E: Bella!
A: I'm sure you want to know…
B: EDWARD!!!
A: …why…
E: BELLA!!!
A: …I…
B+E: MY LOVE!!!
A: SHUT THE FUCK UP!!!
B+E: …
A: Finished? Great! Well I kidnapped you're totally annoying girlfriend, because I heard of you Eddy! You're a pathetic vampire. Don't you have proud or something?
E: That's what I meant Bella! I and my life are just too dangerous, we have to break up!
B: EDWARD!
A: *laughing like mad*
B+E: *stearing at Angelus*
A: You? Dangerous?
S: *smashes the door* Angelus, have you seen Dru? We wanted to torture some orphans and- *notices Bella and Edward* Who are them?
A: Spike do you always have to interrupt me? I'm busy!
B: EDWARD!
S: Why the fucking hell is she screaming so loud? She's not even hurt. Although, she smells really good. *steps towards Bella's cage* Wanna have some fun?
B: EDWARD!!! HE'S TOUCHING ME!!! HELP ME!
E: Get you're hands of her! *Is running towards Spike and is trying to hit him.*
S: *kick Edward once and picking out a cigarette* Learn to fight, idiot. *Inhales*
A: Spike go away! I wanted to kill this sparkling idiot!
S: What do you mean with sparkling?
A: *opens a curtain*
E: *sparkles like mad*
S: Oh Shit! What the fuck happened to him?"
B: OH EDWARD! YOU'RE SO HANDSOME!!! FUCK ME!
A: I don't know, but it's good enough to kill him.
E: I can't do that with you Bella. I'm too dangerous and soulless.
A+S: *laughing like mad, again. Changing to the vampire face*
A: Come a little bit closer and say it again, Ed.
S: You get him. I want her.
A: Whatever. But leave something for me. She smells really delicious.
A+S: *kicking and punching Edward*
B: OMG!!!! EDWARD! EDWARD!! EDWARD!!!
S: By the way. How many people has he killed?
A: None.
S: Are you kidding?
Bu: *Buffy jumps through the window* Oh, cool. If you're killing each other, I have nothing to do! *Throws an axe towards them* But that wouldn't be funny right?
*The guys jumped away*
B: EDWARD!!!!!!
Bu: Shit! Shut up Sweetheart, I can't concentrate.
A: Great, the slayer. Would you like to help us?
S: Hey, this could be funny!
E: My wonderful Bella, I'm coming! I'll never let you alone again!
B: EDWARD, PLEASE STALK ME MORE!!!!
Bu: Did she just say "stalk?" And does this vampire really sparkle?!
A: Terrible, isn't it?
Bu: Bu… But real vampires don't sparkle.
A+S: Thanks!
B: BUT HE'S SO PRETTY LIKE AN ADONIS STATUE!!! HIS SPARKLING IS HOT AND-
Bu: Shut the fucking hell up!
S: Do you help us to kill them Buff?
Bu: It would be a pleasure
B: EDWARD!!!
E: BELLA!

And then Bella and Edward are diying a horribly death. Spike, Buffy and Angelus are also killing the rest of the Cullens and are living happily ever after.

The end